Movies Lie, Barbershops Suck

Rakim shave

Forget what you have seen in any Ice Cube “Barbershop” movie or any film for that matter. Barbershops are the worst. If you go and its crowded or even if there is anyone waiting to get a haircut after your finished you WILL get rushed to some degree.

Because of that rush, experiences at the barbershop are inconsistent. One week you will get the best haircut ever and the next time they f*ck it up because they were not fully listening when you said “a little off.”

Then there’s the talking and joking and frankly its all ignorant and I could care less. I don’t care about who got in a fight at the club or if Lil Wayne is better than Malice from Clipse. Barbers are typically on some bullshit. Taking phone calls, talking to other barbers, when they should be concentrating on your sh*t. There should be one of those ordinances or signs like there are now in New York City cabs that say your entitled to a quiet ride.

Didn’t I tell you don’t touch the sides?
I’m goin bald on top!
You lucky you cool, I’ma let it ride
Slide, you played me so you can’t get paid
How you gon’ fu*k up a don and cold dog his fade?
I look like UTFO
One of them dudes from back in the days
The Educator Clapper is housin your coke and the spray
Barbershop nig*az, always wind up fu*kin around
One minute you hot, next minute you not

Remind me of the New York Knicks with they jumpshots…
-Ghostface “Barbershop

You don’t know what you have until its gone. In high school we got haircuts in the locker room before school, during lunch, or our free periods because my friend Don cut hair.

“Yo I’m going to meet up with Sue after school can you line me up?”

We were so lucky then. Don even came by the crib to cut our hair or sometimes a group of us would all just meet at one of our houses on a Saturday to hang out while Don gave us haircuts. The old Brooklyn days are long gone. These days Don is married and lives in New Jersey. More recently my friend Sal who is also a good barber would cut may hair. I would just go to his house for haircuts… that is until he moved out of state a few years ago.

Don & Sal, you are missed. Pour some out.

The best thing about the barbershop is the hot shave. All men should get them. Seriously. Other than that if you do want a pair of Jordans a size too big that’s half priced, a bootleg DVD of a movie currently in theaters, or a hacked Xbox 360 then yes, the hood barbershop is your place. Other than that I hope you have a friend that can cut hair well and do it at your place.

1 Comment

  1. If this is what you feel about the hood barbershops, the hood “salons” would make you gag. Don’t dare be a curly haired girl and try to go to a hood beautician. My coif has been fcked up more times than I can count by a “stylist” who doesn’t know how to deal with my hair other than slather it with a pound of grease and more often than not, chop off non existent split ends AND have me in there all damn day while they eat, run to the dry cleaners, and change their baby’s diapers. DENIED. I’ll take my 2 hour stint at the Dominicans ANY day over that fckery.

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