So last night I went to see Sade live. Damn good seats and its was a long time coming because Sade does not tour often at all. The bucket list just got shorter and this was an item that has been on the list for a long time that is now carefully crossed out. Her full core band was on deck which to those in the know is the deal. Stuart Matthewman, Paul Denman and Andrew Hale were there and performed amazing solos. Matter of fact more recently Andrew Hale produced the original score for L.A. Noire which is superb but I digress.
If there is such a thing as love languages then she speaks mine. Sade sings it like I think and feel it. The show was amazing though you can’t (or at least I couldn’t) sit through her songs and not begin to ponder some of the themes in her songs regarding love.
Is it real? You listen to her songs and it all sounds so deep. So that begs the question: Is it real? And we have all heard it before. This person says they love you or that person says they love you “soooo much.” Many people profess these grand feelings and when things dont go how they wanted they don’t want to deal with it. They expect you to be forgiving but they are not forgiving when you make mistakes. Many expect more than they are willing to give. That’s not what love is about. Real love gives freely and asks for nothing. Also consider that you get out of it what you put into it just like anything else in life. Nothing I have ever had worth having came easy.
The baggage. This is probably the biggest offender. The older you get the more of it you encounter. Residual and unresolved internal and external things from your past can and will get int the way if you are not careful and honest (see the next point) with yourself. How can someone truly love you when they are not over their past situations? The horrible thing about this is that most times they are in denial about where they are and what they are ready for emotionally. All anyone can ask for in any situation is a fair shot and if your looking at a current situation with past goggles then it was over before it even got a chance to truly blossom. Then some have baby mommas/daddies and kids as well and that’s a another kind of baggage when that dynamic is in the mix. I met this one woman and the conversation was great until she said she had FIVE kids. Get this, she was in her late 20′s. I must have blinked like 10 times in a row. She had the flattest stomach and a great body though. Go figure. Be that as it may, I couldn’t have jumped out the window fast enough. But seriously though baggage from childhood events is not our fault though as an adult its our responsibility to overcome our shortcomings and issues from childhood and beyond and not expect people to just deal with it. I heard that on Dr. Phil the other day (funny I know) and it made total sense. Be sure to stow your bags securely as you board the next flight.
Being honest. Love yourself enough to be true to your own feelings. Start there. Its also the mature thing to do. If you love someone then be true to it and don’t act like you are not. Being honest to others if you are or are not feeling a certain way is important. Much of Sade’s music is an expression of the truth behind feelings for someone else or a relationship. Who cares about what others think and leave your ego at the door. Also be honest with yourself when its time to move on. Sometimes there is only so much you can do and then its time to move on and divert that energy into something else.
Like Mark Twain said “love like you’ve never been hurt before.” Its hard and I admit I have failed at it myself before but its the only way so I guess I will keep trying in the future.
Love like you’ve never been hurt before.
With that said or as my friend Jules would say “end message”… here are some photos I took at the show:
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